Pretend Like I Don't Entice You
by verticallimit379
Summary: (Boy x Boy) (Kellic) Vic's music saved Kellin in ways he doesn't even know and gave him the motivation to turn his life around, but does Vic need just as much saving? And will Kellin be the one to do it?
1. Chapter 1

p data-p-id="6294f4d0c107d38160d65e3bce0eb617"strongA/N Ok guys! This first chapter is a bit wordy and long but I promise everything else wont be like that. I just needed to set the stage and give you guys some backstory so everything makes sense. Any and all authors notes will be bold like this and there will be some flashbacks in at least the first couple chapters and those will all be in /strongemItalics like this. /emstrongNow enjoy!/strong/p  
p data-p-id="d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e" /p  
p data-p-id="29a92489542f46b9928b718abdc0f544"Kellins POV:/p  
p data-p-id="e2ca1cbe06182af458fd9f3534278554"It was thanks to my neighbor, Victor Fuentes, that I was enrolled in the local community college and ready to leave the hospital. He didn't know that though. And I didn't have any plans to tell him either. We had been neighbors most of our lives so we had always been friends, but we were never super close or anything. Which is why I couldn't tell him that I was only enrolled in college because of the way his eyes light up when he talks about his own classes. I also couldn't tell him that it was his music that had truly saved me./p  
p data-p-id="a127fd1f86e4ab650f2216f09992afa4" /p  
p data-p-id="26eedaf40e666fdc71022695671fc76f"Whenever anyone asked his what he planned on doing with his life, he'd say that he was starting a band with his brother, Mike, and a couple of their friends. Half the people he told believed him and the other half didn't. most people had heard him play a little bit out on the quad on campus or at neighborhood parties, but not many people had heard him play the way I had. Not that he played anything special for me, but on hot summer nights when he thought everyone was asleep he would sit on his back porch and play guitar and sing like he never did when people were around, even though his voice was always quiet. It became something I looked forward to, either lying in bed with my window open or sitting in the tree outside my window. I always wondered what had happened to make his voice so raw, to make those lyrics cut right to my center. I knew someday people would pay to hear that voice./p  
p data-p-id="7cb90a17d6068da0d5194d0c9e09bf30"It was his music, and watching him play it from my tree that kept my three year dance with self harm from getting any more serious. And it was the thought of getting back to that that helped me through my stay in the hospital. In case you couldn't tell, I had had a crush on Vic from afar for quite a while now. The closest I ever came to telling him everything was three months ago when I was first admitted to the hospital./p  
p data-p-id="d48a2f61b20388a428733b6f9c70a741" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/p  
p data-p-id="2ebea32d862b5d7db76433a5cfbdc618"emWe weren't allowed visitors for the first week in the hospital. Which was stupid in my opinion. I was in the beginning of my second week and my parents had come to see me yesterday. Not much was said, as if that was anything new. I guess it was better than the arguing though. I wasn't expecting to see anyone else for a while, but suddenly I heard a knock at my door and looked up to see Vic standing there, a mixture of emotions on his face. /em/p  
p data-p-id="bc64c3c291fc303eeec0eae93da407e4"em"Vic? What are you doing here?" I asked, uncurling myself from my chair by the window. I was surprised to see him. We had been friends since he moved next door when we were 6, but not good enough friends that I had expected him to visit me in the hospital. /em/p  
p data-p-id="a2618b3944532478bb8d568b7f767a5b"emHe shrugged. "I hadn't seen you around lately and then I heard my mom talking to your mom and she mentioned you were here so I thought I'd come see what happened..." he trailed off, obviously waiting for an explanation. And I didn't blame him. I hadn't had time to tell any of my friends where I was going. I didn't even have my phone at the hospital with me yet. Something about having to prove that contact with the outside world wasn't going to send me over the edge again. /em/p  
p data-p-id="087f8ec83a7eda5e061528329c2f5916"emBut how do I look into those deep brown eyes and admit that I had accidentally cut too deep? That my parents hated each other almost as much as they hated me so I turned to physical pain in order to numb the emotional pain? That my mom had found me curled up in the shower, crying as I watched my blood run down the drain too fast...my eyes wide with fear when it wouldn't stop?/em/p  
p data-p-id="7fe925413df832b4fe341e22961a9323"emI was snapped out of my thoughts when he readjusted his hat and said "Uh...sorry...you don't have to tell me I guess."/em/p  
p data-p-id="018f3ac9118a6070b647a471ccc9c7c9"em"No, I just...it's..." I didn't know what to say so I reached up to scratch my head. His eyes immediately flicked up to the bandages that were still on my wrists, covering the stitches but not all of my other scars. Before I could register his movement his hand shot out and grabbed mine, turning it so he could see the lattice work of scars. I'd be lying if I said that my hand in his didn't feel nice./em/p  
p data-p-id="e7af022848fba73b6288e64457e261da"em"Kellin, why didn't you tell me what was going on?"/em/p  
p data-p-id="73af2f18be5eb93c8390bb930432f6f2"em"I didn't tell anyone Vic, not just you. Nobody would have understood." I said, yanking my arm back./em/p  
p data-p-id="6de94c0e90427bca3a7b88d3f750ae26"em"You'd be surprised what people understand" he said quietly, looking out the window. When I gave him a curious look he continued "Are you going to try and hurt yourself again?"/em/p  
p data-p-id="707ff37f7f55131639f602bb8a0d8994"emI had been asking myself the same question but hadn't come up with an answer. I shrugged and lifted a wrist up to pick at the gauze around it. The wounds were still healing and they itched. /em/p  
p data-p-id="39d8c18d43466f9d1b9707f7220eff36"em"Ok, well what can I do to help you?."/em/p  
p data-p-id="0cb25fc6818a52bd8af723d2b5ff722e"emI was about to tell him that nothing could help when I remembered the night before it all happened. I had been sitting in the tree, trying to block out the sound of my parents yelling when he had come outside and started playing. "Play something for me. One of /emyour emsongs." I said, putting the emphasis on your, hoping he would know I didn't mean the covers of happy birthday or whatever else he played at the neighborhood parties or around the bonfires. A mix of emotions crossed over his face and I hoped I hadn't given myself away. /em/p  
p data-p-id="6473b3bc8251cd55507c0f25e29ce9bd"em"I don't exactly have a guitar in my pocket Kells."/em/p  
p data-p-id="74b1e369696cfef77d0cb8f188e29ab9"em"There's a music room down the hall, they have an acoustic." I suggested, standing up. /em/p  
p data-p-id="1e62504da30f9e70dc2ca72cd582c48a"emHe followed me out of my room and a few doors down the hallway until we got to the small music room. There was a piano in one corner next to a wall of windows and in the other corner were a couple of stools and a couch with two acoustic guitars on stands. I sat on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest, not caring at that moment how vulnerable I looked, before turning my gaze to Vic. He glanced at me and picked up one of the guitars, settling on the stool closest to the couch. His fingers caressed the strings as he gave me another strange look before he started to play. It wasn't quite like the music he played at night, but there was something there, some element that he didn't normally reveal for the public. I sat there, curled on the couch, letting the music and his quiet voice wash over me, not knowing when I'd hear it again. That was the only time he visited me in the three months I was stuck in the hospital. br /em/p  
p data-p-id="26478db11a74b3c8675f463fee30cba7" /p  
p data-p-id="ad465fdc584cfc149f51d3f2ad423c1a"strongOk that was chapter 1! this is my first Kellic fic so I'd really really appreciate any feedback/comments/reviews/ratings and whatnot. Hope you liked it and I'm going to try and update about once a week, if not more. /strongembr /em/p 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N ok soooo I lied, this ended up being even longer than chapter 1. oops. sorry! Also this chapter takes places at the same time as the flashback from chapter 1 except this is from Vic's POV. the next chapter will be when Kellin's and Vic's POVs will match up.**

Vic's POV:

I was making myself some mac and cheese when I looked out the window and saw my mom talking to Mrs. Quinn by the mailbox. I opened the window over the sink so that I could hear them. Kellin hadn't been around lately and I was getting worried. Even if we didn't hang out all the time I usually heard from him or saw him sitting in the tree in his yard, but I don't think he knew I ever saw him up there.

"...San Diego general for a little over a week. The doctors aren't sure what's wrong yet but we're going to see him tomorrow and hopefully they'll have some answers" I heard Kellin's mom say as I tuned back in to their conversation.

"Oh that's awful" my mom replied. "Give him our best will you? He's always such a sweetheart when he comes over to play games with Vic."

"We will, thank you!" Mrs. Quinn called as she walked back into her house, shutting the door behind her. I quickly closed the window so my mom wouldn't know I had been eavesdropping. I took my mac and cheese up to my room and put some music on, sitting down to think. Did I actually miss Kellin? I thought about the last time I had seen him. It had been almost two weeks ago and we had been hanging out at the playground/park in our neighborhood with our friends Justin, Nick and Jaime. Kellin had managed to climb on top of the monkey bars and then jumped up to the top of the big slide. None of us could get up there with him and he was laughing at watching us try. Justin and Nick had called him a monkey and he started making monkey noises and jumping up and down, nearly causing himself to fall off. I smiled, remembering the way his laughter sounded and how happy he had looked. Maybe I'd go visit him tomorrow...I did have the day off. Thinking about him in the hospital made me feel a pang of something in my chest. Was that...sadness? Worry? Either way it felt funny. Wait, did I have a crush on Kellin? No. That wasn't going to fly. I wasn't even sure if I was into guys. And I wasn't about to try and find out with Kellin. We had been friends for like 13 years and I didn't want to make things weird between us.

My phone buzzed alerting me to a text message. I picked it up and saw a text from Emily, my current girlfriend. Ugh, I thought to myself. I needed to break up with her I just wasn't sure how. She was sweet, and attractive enough, there just wasn't any...spark. She wanted to hang out tomorrow. I sent her a text back saying that I was busy in the morning but would meet her at her place later in the afternoon. There was no sense in putting off what needed to be done.

The next morning I got dressed in my favorite grey skinny jeans, a band tee and some vans. I threw on my red snapback, grabbed my keys and headed towards the hospital. I walked up to reception unsure of what to tell them. The lady looked up at me with a tired smile. "You look a bit lost dear. Can I help you find something?"

"Um, yeah. I'm looking for a friend that's here. His name is Kellin Quinn. I just wanted to visit him if I could?" I said, unsure of hotel policy.

She typed a few things into the computer in front of her. "Ah yes, Mr. Quinn is in the psych ward. Room 305. Take the elevator to the fourth floor then take a left. You'll have to sign in when you get up there."

"Thanks" I gave her a small smile and went to follow her directions. When I got off the elevator and looked to the left there was another reception desk sitting in front of a set of heavy looking double doors. The psych ward? What on earth was Kellin doing there? I was so confused. I walked up to the desk and looked at the guy behind it. "Uh, I'm here to see Kellin Quinn...the lady downstairs told me I'd have to sign in?"

He looked up from his computer. "Yeah, just fill this out" he said, handing me a sheet where I wrote down my name, the time and who I was there to see."

"Thanks, you just have to check out when you're done too. Go ahead in. Straight ahead, take a left at what looks like a giant living room and room 305 is down that hallway on the right."

I said thanks and pushed my way through the double doors. I was immediately greeting with a variety of noises. There was a tv on in the main area that was just a bit too loud, some cheering coming from a group of people that looked like they were playing some sort of game and a low moaning sound coming from somewhere to my left. I followed the directions I had been given and was soon standing in front of room 305. I stood there for a second looking at the name on the sign next to the door. "Kellin Quinn: age 19, level 1, risk- High" The only part of the sign that made sense was his name and age. I took a deep breath and knocked at the door that was already mostly open.

Kellins head snapped up to look at me. "Vic? What are you doing here?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice. I didn't blame him for being surprised. We were friends but I guess it was a little strange for me to show up unannounced. Seeing him there in a pair of black skinny jeans and a plain white t-shirt he looked...so much less like himself than the last time I had seen him. The vibrancy had gone from his eyes and there were bags under them. Seeing him like that I got the same strange pang that I had gotten yesterday while thinking about seeing him here. I snapped out of it when I realized I hadn't answered his question yet.

"I hadn't seen you around lately and then I heard my mom talking to your mom and she mentioned you were here so I thought I'd come see what happened..." I let my voice trail off hoping that he would get the hint and tell me what was wrong. I walked over and sat down in the chair next to him, waiting to see if he would respond. He was staring at me funny and it was making the pangs of...whatever it was even worse so I reached up and readjusted my hat. "Uh...sorry...you don't have to tell me I guess."

"No, I just...it's..." he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times but nothing else came out.

He lifted an arm up and ran his fingers through his beautiful raven black hair. Wait...beautiful? Did I actually just think that? It was then that I noticed the bandages around his wrists. I shot my hand out and grabbed his, pulling it towards me. Peeking out from the edges of the bandages were a network of scars, most of which were healed, telling me that he had been hurting himself for quite some time. His hands were freezing. "Kellin, why didn't you tell me what was going on?" I asked, an ache building in my chest knowing that this had been happening and I hadn't noticed.

"I didn't tell anyone Vic, not just you. Nobody would have understood."He yanked his arm back.

I looked out the window at the city below us and without thinking I responded "You'd be surprised what people understand." when I realized what I had said I decided a change in topic was in order. "Are you going to try and hurt yourself again?"

He shrugged and began picking at one of the bandages, biting his bottom lip. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit adorable. I mentally facepalmed. Adorable? What was with me today? Focus Vic. I was scaring myself with all these strange thoughts. "Ok, well what can I do to help you?" I asked him.

He seemed to be thinking for a second then responded "Play something for me. One of your songs."

My eyes narrowed a bit. One of my songs? What did he mean by that? Nobody but Mike knew I wrote my own music. At least they weren't supposed to know. Those songs I kept to myself. I wasn't ready for people to hear them yet. But looking up at Kellin and the way he was looking at me with almost a pleading look in his eyes made me think that maybe he would understand, that maybe if I was willing to let anyone hear the words that were so important to me it would be him. Ugh, I had to stop thinking about him like that. Maybe coming here was a bad idea, I needed to get my shit together. "I don't exactly have a guitar in my pocket Kells" I said, hoping he would let it slide. I had no such luck.

"There's a music room down the hall, they have an acoustic." he said, standing up and he looked so eager that I had no choice but to follow him.

He led me down the hall to a small music room where he sat down on the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest and looked at me expectantly. I grabbed one of the acoustic guitars and sat on a stool next to the couch, thinking about what I would play him. There was one song of mine I could maybe let him hear. I started hesitantly, keeping my voice quiet as I sang the words I had written down just a couple weeks ago. It was one of my more lighthearted songs, about wanting to get out of town and make something of myself. I noticed that he closed his eyes and was swaying to the music slightly. There seemed to be a small smile on his lips.

The song ended and we sat there awkwardly for a minute before I remembered the plans I had with Emily. I got up and told him I had to get going, allowing him to walk me to the double doors that signified the edge of the ward we were on.

As I signed myself back out and walked back towards my car I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander to the small smile I had seen on Kellins lips as I played. Did my music really make him feel a little better? I realized that that was why I wanted to start a band, to make people feel good. I knew what music had done for me and I just wanted to do that for other people. I thought about the smile on his lips again and I couldn't help but imagine brushing my lips up against his, doing anything to bring back that smile and laugh I had heard at the park just a couple of weeks ago.

Shit. It was official. I liked Kellin Quinn.

 **Ok so if you're still reading then then thank you so much. Please rate/comment and let me know what you think!**


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